The Lanksters are defying the conventional image of family

The Lanksters are a unique and diverse family. Photo courtesy of Saul Lankster.

By Charlyne Nguyen

The word family can mean “a group of persons of common ancestry,” Merriam-Webster dictionary reads. It can also mean “the sense of loyalty, selflessness, love and genuine care and concern for others,” according to Women’s Podium.

No matter how people define the word family, there is no denying that the Lanksters are the embodiment of the second definition; when people think of family, they usually think of blood relatives and people that look similar to each other. For the Lanksters, this isn’t the case.

The Lanksters are a family of eight. Saul Lankster, an educator, and Clara are parents to six daughters. Their daughters’ names are Shandra, LaDonne, Cecilia, Velmar, Ahmara and Eliana.

Right now both Shandra and LaDonne, who were adopted during a previous marriage Lankster was in before marrying Clara, are grown up and don’t live with the rest of the family. Cecilia also doesn’t live with the family because she’s away at college. Ahmara and Velmar are both in high school in the Huntington Beach Union High School District, and Eliana is in junior high.

Right now this family does not sound that out of the ordinary, but after seeing them in person and together, one could see how unique the Lanksters are.

Lankster is of African American descent, along with his two older daughters Shandra and LaDonne. Clara is of Spanish descent, Cecilia is of Guatemalan descent, Eliana is of Mexican descent, and Velmar and Ahmara are of Chinese descent.

No matter how different they look from each other or where they all came from, one thing is clear to the Lanksters: family means more than just blood.

“There is no recognition of any ethnicity, other than [us] making sure that we are not lost with… the fact that we hail from all parts of the world,” Lankster said.

To the Lanksters blood may not matter, but some question the capacity of love Lankster and his wife have for their children, having adopted so many children from different parts of the world. Their love for them, however, is unconditional.

“A child needs to know that there is somebody in the world who loves them completely with no thought of gain or ego, that there is an unselfish love for them, not for what they do…or how they look, but for who they are,” Lankster said. “One of the things we had to get across with our adopted children is that you don’t earn our love. We’re going to love you regardless. You don’t have to worry about losing it because you’re our children, and we’re going to always love you.”

Of course, love comes with its challenges, and adopting children is never short of obstacles.

When Clara first introduced the idea of adopting Chinese daughters, she was met with some people who thought she should adopt children that actually looked like her.

“The adoption agency tried to get her to adopt someone… from Russia, and to then get a baby that looks like her,” Lankster said. “But that’s not what she wanted. She wanted a Chinese daughter.”

Lankster was also criticized because he wasn’t adopting African American children. While Lankster says that he doesn’t let these things bother him, he has lost some close friends along the way.

“One woman had been a friend of mine for almost 36 years, and when she found out that I was adopting children from China, she cut me off,” Lankster said.

Another acquaintance even refused to sign letters of adoption for Lankster.

When adopting their children from China, Lankster wasn’t even able to go because they didn’t want to risk all of their hard work from months of planning to go to waste because they were afraid the Chinese government might not allow children to go home with an African American person.

“We were going through over a year of background checks; we were going through waiting and so forth, and we were not going to take a chance on me being a black man going to China,” Lankster said. “We know that in Korea, for example, they will not allow a child to be adopted by an African American. They feel like a child is better off in an orphanage in Korea than being in my home… in California.”

Now that the adoption process is long over, the Lanksters at least have one less thing to worry about. However, like most things, difficulties do arise in life, and racism is no exception—especially for children growing up in places where the ignorance of others wouldn’t be considered bliss.

“My Chinese daughters have experienced racism,” Lankster said. “Kids talk about them and they pull their eyes to the side, and they do a lot of little racist things and make racist comments towards them sometimes.”

But being African American and growing up in the South, Lankster also grew up with racism. His family was evicted from their home because his brother decided to go to college after high school when the Brown v. Board of Education decision was made in 1954.

“One of my brothers, younger brothers, decided to go to school… after high school,” Lankster said. “It may not have been a mistake, but it was the decision that caused the white people to evict our entire family. I came home from school one day, and all of our furniture was…all out on the curb.”

Lankster also has history and experience with the Ku Klux Klan (KKK).

“I remember the times when the [KKK] did a raid on our… home, and they burned a 20-foot cross in front of our house,” Lankster said. “My mother had to go out and face them and challenge them. They didn’t burn the house down, but it was a night of terror… that I shall never forget.”

Despite all this, Lankster hasn’t let it get the better of him and still holds his head high.

“We understand the ignorance of other people. I think that’s one of the advantages of growing up in a diverse household that we have. We do understand that people are stupid, that they are careless, that they are cruel sometimes,” Lankster said. “Some people do things, and they don’t even understand why they are doing them.”

Lankster, being a man from the early Civil Rights movement, is more inclined to “turn the other cheek.” That’s why when he first heard about the movement, Black Lives Matter (BLM), he was critical of it because he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“I’m from the old Civil Rights school of nonviolence… and turn the other cheek…, [and] because I’m from that era, I did not understand and did not choose to study and find out what [BLM] was all about,” Lankster said.

However, living with so many different people, and sharing ideas and knowledge, Lankster was actually able to learn more about BLM thanks to his daughters.

“They brought me into the fold so that I was not ignorant and operating on ignorance,” Lankster said. “I mean, they are into social media.”

Being a father and a teacher, Lankster is also able to teach his daughter’s about his culture as well. This includes Lankster’s involvement in the Civil Rights movement and his history with Martin Luther King Jr. and John Lewis.

When his daughters go to school, people are actually surprised that non-African American students are able to relate so much to people they don’t even look like.

“When people start talking about, in their class, talking about Blacks…they start talking about them in a manner as if nobody has any connection to Black folks,” Lankster said. “They’re very much surprised that my [daughters] [have] this connection to African Americans.”

Lankster’s daughters aren’t just connected to his culture, but to their cultures as well.

“Ahmara and Velmar were going to school on Saturdays at Fountain Valley High School as little kids taking Mandarin on Saturdays. We also enrolled them in contests that had to do with Chinese children,” Lankster said.

His children are also immersed in each others’ culture.

“Food is really a great mediator, and we’ll once a week typically have Spanish food,” Lankster said. “There are times when we have . . . Chinese food. They’ll bring in… when we’re eating from outside, will bring in whatever [their] favorite dishes are.”

Having a blend of food from each culture on the dinner table isn’t the only perk of being a diverse family.

“You get to experience the best in everything,” Lankster said. “Being in a diverse family, we are privileged to see through the eyes of someone else.”

Lankster thinks if anyone is looking into transracial adoption, they should be open-minded.

“I would encourage people to think outside the box, and look beyond your own physical characteristics,” Lankster said. “The world would be a better place if children who lose their parents to drugs, lose them to crime, or to illness, or whatever reason, these kids need to have parents, and they need to have parents that love them and who will love them unselfishly and completely.”